Food for Thought for Rising Juniors

With the end of the sophomore year in sight, now is the time to plan for the all-important junior year.  No doubt, its arrival approaches with trepidation.  Coursework escalates, pressure builds, college considerations loom, and standardized testing nears. You may feel that your son or daughter has just begun high school – after all, he or she has yet to bank two years and may not have hit that final major growth spurt – but the junior year awaits. 

In my experience from working with high school students and their parents, I have heard expressed surprise about the following pieces of the high school puzzle.  Parents and their children often wish that they had known more about these important choices earlier.

1.      Consider whether to hire a college counselor outside of your child’s high school college counselor.

 College counselors often charge a flat fee for the full array of services offered, which includes, among many other things, guidance in course selection, résumé-building, appropriate college considerations, financial aid, testing, recommendation letters, applications, and essay-writing.  Timing can be of the essence.  Early preparation leads ultimately to stronger applications. 

As you consider whether hiring an outside college counselor is something your family should pursue, weigh the following:

·      How knowledgeable are you about the process?  If your knowledge is based on the fact that you applied to colleges many years ago, you need help!

·      What is the college counselor-to-student ratio at your child’s school?  Some school counselors are so overburdened that they only have time to attend to the essentials, and much of the guidance piece may fall to the curb.

·      What type of college will your child pursue?  If your child will likely seek admission to a highly selective college, more support may be desirable.

·      How much is your family willing to invest in the process?  College counselors can be expensive, so striking the right economic balance, deciding how and when to use them, is advised.

Bottom line, if you want to learn more, I encourage a consultation with a college counselor now as you weigh the merits of this important decision. (Referrals available upon request.)

2.     Set a Reasonable but High Bar as Your Child Selects Classes for Next Year.

 Generally, your child should be reaching his or her academic stride at the onset of the junior year.  In the early high school years – as freshmen and sophomores – students often face an adjustment period.  They may make a misstep in a class, perhaps in many classes, as they struggle to get their footing.  Poor grades may accrue, or, worse, other blemishes may appear on their high school transcripts.  All is not lost.  If maturity sets in, demonstrating growth and improvement can make a huge statement. 

Whether your child has struggled during the first two years of high school or not, the rigor in coursework during his or her junior year matters.  Appropriate progression is desired, not only to earn admission to most colleges but also, and more importantly, to instill a strong work ethic.  If your child was successful in honors English during the ninth and tenth grade years, moving on to AP English Language and Composition may be an appropriate and needed step up in rigor.  Success in college and in life, in general, often hinges on a person’s diligence – his or her willingness to work hard.  Setting a reasonable but high bar for your child will help to instill this virtue.

3.     Consider a standardized testing schedule now.

 Most students take the SAT or the ACT during their junior year.  Taking these tests without proper preparation is inadvisable.  Many colleges require that students submit all test scores when applying, so “getting a baseline score” often is not in your child’s best interests, unless, of course, it is done so privately, through practice.  Planning testing dates and considering preparation in advance is essential.

Your child and your family likely have a busy schedule.  While the SAT and the ACT offer abundant test dates, fitting those dates into your family calendar requires prioritizing.  Then, working backwards a few months, at least, to ensure time for adequate preparation is warranted. (Please contact me if you are interested in test prep.)

Students considering college engineering programs or highly selective universities may need to schedule SAT Subject Tests as well.  Deliberating which subject tests to take and when to take them is a vital, sometimes overlooked, piece of the puzzle.  These test day options are limited, and often students are best served to take these at the conclusion of the academic year.

4.     Schedule College Visit Days Early.

Parents are often surprised to learn that campus tours and information sessions are filled to capacity during high school breaks and that many colleges do not offer weekend tours or admissions sessions.  If you know now, as you child finishes his or her sophomore year, that your child will want to tour a particular college next year, plan ahead.  Decide when your family may have the opportunity to conduct this critical due diligence and book your information sessions and tours early, which does not necessarily mean that you should accelerate your visit, only your planning.  Observing a university in person and evaluating how well it meets your child’s desires and needs is critical to the applications and admissions decisions to follow.  Colleges track school visitations and log this information as reflective of a student’s demonstrated interest, so ensuring that this box is checked is important in many more ways than one. 

Should you have questions about these critical decisions or any others that your high school student faces, feel free to contact me for more information.  I am happy to guide you, based on your child’s personal record, and to refer you to a college counselor.  I also offer test prep, with summer and fall enrollments options available next month. 

Tackling School Absences

Several years ago, about this time of year, my son laid in bed and told me that he just did not feel well enough to go to school that day.  I eyed him suspiciously and asked him what was wrong.  He had no fever; he was not flushed or particularly congested.  This was my child who could find a million and one things he would rather do than go to school. 

His brother chimed in as we now both knowingly examined him and reflected on his grade school days when he would somehow outsmart me and stay home from school, ultimately only to catch up on his preferred projects.  We warned him of the test he would miss that day, of the workload that would pile up, and of the sports practice he would forfeit, but my son was not to be swayed.  He simply complained that he did not have the energy to get out of bed and announced that he was not going to school.

The next day he was diagnosed with mono.  It was not my finest parenting moment.  He spent the next six weeks trying to regain his strength and his footing in school.

Early 2017 seems fraught with illness.  Classes have been emptied and even cancelled due to widespread viruses. Accordingly, I have been reminded of how difficult it is as a parent and as a student to navigate school absences, whether planned or unexpected.  Here are a few pointers.

1.    Prioritize School

Send a message to your child daily that school is important.  Schedule well visits before or after school or during school breaks.  Try to avoid taking your child out of school for any reason but illness and certainly do not do so for an everyday outing, such as lunch or shopping. 

Parent wisely.  Do not be a pushover, especially if you know your child fears a test or is susceptible to malingering; however, you may want to keep my own misstep in the back of your mind, too! 

2.   Communicate

Whether a planned or unexpected absence, courtesy demands that a student communicate with his or her teachers.  A quick email or visit to warn a teacher of an impending absence or to notify him or her of an illness demonstrates respect not only for the teacher but also for the classwork. It sends a message that the student values both.  A teacher is much more apt to accommodate a student’s needs when the student readily shares when and why he or she is missing class and attempts to minimize absences.

3.    Create a Schedule for Make-Up Work

Make-up schedules can and should be created jointly between the teacher and the student, especially when absences extend to multiple days.  Some students tend to rush to make up missed assessments, so they can more quickly feel “caught-up” and resume their place among fellow students.  Others dawdle and only make-up work when the teacher demands they do so.  Instead, a student would be best served to negotiate a make-up schedule where he or she anticipates and completes work in advance, if possible, and where the student balances the make-up work across missed classes on a manageable schedule that both minimizes the time required to make up work and acknowledges the equities of all involved parties, including classmates, who may be awaiting test grades and the opportunity to review assessments.

Teachers who give a student the latitude simply to make up work by the end of the quarter are, in my opinion, doing the student and others a huge injustice.  No one benefits by catering to limitless procrastination. On the other hand, promptly entering a zero in the student’s gradebook for every missed assignment can create unnecessary anxiety and resentment.  Instead, seek a balance of expediency and fairness that meets the needs of the student, the class, and the teacher.

There is a correlation between chronic absenteeism and school success, so these can be dangerous parenting waters.  Proceed with caution, and always beware the slippery slope that could follow when you indulge your child’s plea to miss class.  Indeed, if I were to face that morning with my son again, even with the benefit of hindsight, I probably would respond in exactly same way.

"My Child Does Not Know How to Study"

Parents who call me seeking academic coaching often begin, “My child is very bright, but he [or she] just does not know how to study.”   Learning how to study is one of the end goals for high school students, a critical skill that predicts success not only in college but also in life. 

I have developed the following four-pronged test, so you can measure your child’s studying proficiency and assess whether he or she would benefit from intervention. 

1.    How well does my child manage his or her materials?

Students who struggle with knowing how to study are often disorganized.  Their backpacks contain an unwieldy mound of crumpled papers from every one of their core classes.  If they have a notebook or binder, it is stuffed with papers either in the front pocket or its inside pages.

Is your child an organizational guru, a slightly organized student (whose papers are at least contained), or a walking disaster?

With a fresh semester upon us, now is the time to comb through these papers.  Help your child start the semester with a clean three-ringed binder for every class.  In my opinion, there is no substitute for a sturdy three-ringed binder, which enables students to order and re-order papers, chronologically and by topic, and ensures ready-access to the critical papers needed to prepare for the next assessment. Students cannot study well for a test when they cannot locate the papers that they need.  Other organizational methods, such as folders and spiral notebooks, pale in comparison with the irreplaceable three-ringed binder.

2.    How is my child’s work ethic?

Bottom line, a student must want to perform well in school.  Almost every student will tell you that he or she wants to earn good grades, but many want the good grades with no investment of time. 

How motivated is your child to find success:  motivated enough to save his or her favorite television show until the weekend, to turn off his or her cell phone during study sessions, to complete more math problems than assigned, and to seek answers to questions about a subject outside of the classroom?

And if you think I am being absurd, I am not.  I know these children, they do exist, and they are not freaks of nature; however, it is true that some children are naturally more motivated than others.

As parents, we must instill and cultivate a strong work ethic by modelling one and by constantly reminding our children that school work must be prioritized.

3.    Does your child take meaningful, legible, dated class notes?

Many students can navigate middle school without exerting much effort.  Teachers often are guilty of spoon-feeding students by offering review sheets that summarize the critical points on a topic and then by requiring the students to regurgitate this information in a similar format on the test.  This widespread approach to testing has produced an entire generation of students whose study skills have atrophied from such coddling.  Students step into my office daily without notes from class lectures unless their teacher has warned, “Write this down!”

Peruse your child’s notebooks and ask, how much of class lectures is he or she recording, and do these notes tell a meaningful story and contain concrete lessons?

Our children need to develop an acuity for identifying important information, information worthy of recall.  (This rings true not only for the classroom but also for the media-frenzied world in which we live). Students should review notes daily, particularly in classes where they struggle, to maximize retention.  Strong notetaking skills are often among the final study skills students acquire.

4.    Does your child make good use of the internet?

Finally, our children have access to a world of information at their fingertips.  Educational websites, instructive videos, and study tools abound.  A student can no longer simply complain that he or she has a “bad teacher” and then renounce all responsibility. There are simply too many free alternatives readily available, but is your child accessing them?  Perhaps a review of your child’s internet history will tell the story.

Survey your child’s performance in each of these four areas, and you will know whether your child knows how to study or perhaps whether your child needs help. 

The Write Stuff

My high school students and their parents often ask me, as their academic coach, about choosing classes.  As they contemplate whether to enroll in honors and AP classes, they want input about which courses will “read” well on college applications.  While I always encourage parents to listen to their child, to allow their child’s interests to guide their choices, and to consult their college counselor, I also emphasize that there is no more important college readiness course than a rigorous English class, and, in my opinion, that is true for one primary reason:  writing.

The ability to write well is arguably the most important college readiness marker.  Despite growing global computerization, our students are still required to communicate via writing daily: in social media through emails, posts, texts, and blogs and in school through essays, assessments, and papers.  While the hand-written letter or thank you note may largely be a thing of the past, the ability to compose a well-structured, articulate piece distinguishes a middling student from an exceptional one.

Every selective college of which I am aware prioritizes a strong background in writing instruction.  Even engineering schools want to admit students who write well; therefore, not surprisingly, these colleges prefer to find the successful completion of AP English, or its equivalent, on an applicant’s transcript.  Of course, not every student is prepared to enroll in the most rigorous English class available at his or her high school, but every student who seeks an outstanding college curriculum should aspire to improve his or her writing craft and should seek to demonstrate this interest.

 Which skills does your child need to demonstrate to ensure college readiness?

1.    A growing facility with grammar and vocabulary;

2.   An understanding of structure and how to build a logical argument; and

3.   A developing voice.

How can you help your child improve his or her writing? 

1.   Review the rubric and prompt of any writing assignment with your child to ensure that your child has a planned thesis that both answers the question asked and meets the expectations of the assignment.  One of the most frequent mistakes I see among my students is the failure to answer the question posed or the failure to fulfill the assignment’s requirements.

2.   Insist that your child prepare an outline.  My students often want to dismiss outlining as a step that merely slows them down.  To the contrary, good writing requires good planning.

3.   Advise your child to seek feedback, preferably from his or her target audience but minimally from an informed source.  High school English teachers understandably do not have the time to pre-read every student’s work, but their feedback before writing begins can be extremely instrumental. In my experience, peer edits should be considered and followed with extreme caution.

4.   Encourage your child to write a first draft and then have him or her read that draft out loud, slowly, to himself or herself.  Ask your child to evaluate whether the writing answers the prompt, meets the rubric’s expectations, and flows.

5.   Then, as the parent, get out of the way! In most cases, parents should only guide their children in the process above – not in the writing. Your child needs to develop his or her own voice and to learn from mistakes.  Your child is better served, in almost all cases, to get further feedback from school mentors.  The best English instruction often incorporates the opportunity to rewrite and to learn from drafting missteps.

6.   Otherwise, as a parent, encourage reading, for a love of reading cultivates a love of writing; and, perhaps needless to say, encourage writing for pleasure.

With the holidays arriving next week, should you need a last-minute gift for your child, consider either a journal (fun and beautiful options abound) or a good writing guide (I recommend How to Write Anything:  A Complete Guide by Laura Brown).

Happy holidays!  Happy writing!

Gratitude, Attitude, and Success

Earlier this fall, a friend recommended that I watch a TED Talk by Shawn Achor, an advocate for positive psychology.  His funny, inspiring presentation contains shrewd advice, particularly for students and their parents.  Achor’s theme is that gratitude and positivity can vastly improve our probabilities for personal success.  I believe that Achor is exactly right, and what better time to embrace his sentiments than at Thanksgiving.

Readiness to learn, confidence, gratitude, and optimism are directly related to student success.  As an academic coach, I have long recommended that my students engage in regular exercise because, in my experience, exercise opens the mind to embrace new information and improves mental stamina.  I coach my students to speak with authority in the classroom – to assume that they are correct and not to worry that they may falter.  I also underscore gratitude.  When we take time to appreciate the many gifts we are given and just how fortunate we are, no matter our circumstances, we are better able to stretch ourselves – to learn without fear of failure.  Finally, I encourage my students to prepare thoroughly first, of course, and then to go into each assessment with a positive attitude.  I deter any and all negativity in my sessions.  Students who claim, “I am horrible at math,” or “I know I won’t do well,” are reminded never again to say that – certainly not in my presence - and never to believe it.

Achor posits that 90% of long-term happiness is predicted by the way we process the world, in other words, the way we cope with stress and defeat. Many people are unhappy and vehemently believe that they are unhappy because of their circumstances and their failings.  To the contrary, Achor argues that happiness determines success, not the other way around.

At this Thanksgiving, take time to watch Achor’s TED Talk with your children: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fLJsdqxnZb0  Incorporate positivity into your daily life, and allow positivity to set your trajectory.  I believe that what we put into the universe will come right back to us.

Can I Have Extra Time?

We live in a world where it has become fashionable, perhaps even expected, to ask for extra time.  We ask for extra time on work deadlines; for dinner with friends, when we are running late; and on taxes.

One of the most important college readiness markers, though, in my opinion, is a student’s ability to manage time.  Often faced for the first time with abundant free time between only periodic classes, college students must make critical choices among friends, extracurricular activities, and books.  Making sure that they are ready, for the most part, to make wise decisions in college is paramount.

No wonder they often are not.  As I tutor my students, I am amazed by the number of teachers who regularly extend deadlines for major projects and essays.  They do so because of a big football game, because of the workload a student has in other classes, because the class has intentionally stalled or distracted the teacher’s instruction, or because the student politely asks for an extension with a smile, but are we doing the students a disservice by readily granting these requests?  Students should learn to manage their time before they leave for college, so at some point they need consistently to feel the severity of a true deadline.

Students with Accommodations

There are instances where students are deserving of additional time, of course.  I realize that debates exist over student accommodations, particularly in light of socioeconomic access and perhaps even questionable psychological diagnoses; however, our current educational system attempts to level the playing field for students with learning differences by granting some of them time-and-a-half and others, double-time. 

I find that teachers often do not implement this accommodation properly, to the detriment of all students.  Accommodating extra time can be a logistical nightmare, so, to make things easier on themselves, teachers frequently just afford all students abundant time. This strips students of the opportunity to learn to manage their time and also fails to afford the needy students any accommodation; how can the students who need extra time ever shine if their classmates have excessive time to polish their work? Alternatively, some teachers allow accommodated students access to an entire test, when half of the assessment will have to be finished later that day or even the next day because of the time required.  Are we really expecting that students will not abuse the temptation to scrounge for an elusive detail in the interim?

Standardized Testing

To further complicate matters, we have students' seeking extra time for the SAT and ACT.  Again, while some students can demonstrate legitimate need for this extra time, there is undoubtedly abuse within the system, where students receive extra time who do not need it, and others, who desperately need it, do not access it.

In short, the whole system is a mess, and our students are being denied the opportunity to grow, to learn, and to respect a deadline, which we all know, is a pretty important life and work skill that can determine whether a student stays in college or drops out.

College Application Deadlines

Colleges have spun this flawed system in their favor, too.  They now, with great frequency, grant application deadline extensions to all students in response to major catastrophes, such as Hurricane Matthew.  Experts recognize that this empathetic gesture accommodates students in need, yes, but perhaps with an underlying motive.  With every extended day, competitive colleges receive additional applications – many additional applications.  At the end of the admission cycle, these additional applications can render coveted lower admissions rates (# of students admitted/# of students applied) and higher yields (# of students attending/# of students accepted), both factors considered by organizations that rank colleges. Why do all students need that application deadline extended anyway?   Our culture of asking for extensions is probably such a mainstay that managing requests for extra time has become a logistical nightmare for colleges, too.  College admission offices probably find it easier to grant a widespread extension, and they benefit greatly by doing so.

Your Mission

 As parents, we have to right this flawed system for our children.  Instill in your children that they must respect a deadline.  Personally model compliant behavior; for example, make every effort to be on time for business and social events, but go further than that:  Encourage your child to show character and to meet an original deadline, especially if a granted extension does not respond to any of his or her own personal circumstances.  Does your son really deserve extra time to file his UNC application when Hurricane Matthew had no impact on your family?  Will your daughter really benefit from working on that English essay for two more weeks when her personal computer was not affected by a schoolwide virus?  Make a conscious decision to ensure that your child knows how to respect a deadline; time is ticking.

A World Obsessed . . . And The Impact on Homework

The summer before last, I read an important book, a must-read for teenagers and their parents:  A Deadly Wandering:  A Mystery, a Landmark Investigation, and the Astonishing Science of Attention in the Digital Age.  In A Deadly Wandering, Matt Richtel, a Pulitzer Prize-winning author recounts the true story of Reggie Shaw, a teenager, who must come to terms with the fact that he has killed two brilliant rocket scientists by texting and driving.  Reggie ultimately seeks redemption by dedicating his entire life to sharing his story to eradicate texting and driving.

Richtel’s deftly written and page-turning account is supported by remarkable cognitive neuroscience that helps us understand exactly how tightly each of us is bound to our smartphones.  While there is no more important message than avoiding texting and driving for our teenage children, as your academic coach, I must extend Richtel’s analysis to studying.

Our cell phones sit on the table or in our pockets.  With each ping or vibration, we receive a shot of dopamine that lures us to pick up the phone and to check our messages.  Trying to resist that lure is nearly impossible.  It is akin, according to Richtel, to a cave man’s trying to ignore being tapped on the shoulder.  He must look to assess whether he is facing an opportunity or a threat; so, too, we must look, to see and to evaluate what news is coming our way.  

We are aware that we should not text and drive, but ignoring a pinging phone requires super-human willpower, especially for a teenager whose frontal lobe has not yet fully developed.  The addictive nature of cell phones is very similar to smoking according to Richtel.  We know that we should not do it, but we do it anyway.  At this point, though, unlike smoking, there simply is not enough shame surrounding the constant interaction with our cell phones to dissuade such behavior.

The statistics are sobering:

18% or more (280,000+) of all crashes are due to texting and driving;

95% say that they know texting and driving is akin to drinking and driving, but 30% or more do it anyway; and

Drivers continue to be distracted for 15 seconds after sending a text message!

If it is this difficult to avoid texting and driving, why would our children not allow a text message to interrupt study time?

Our young are already exposed to an astronomical amount of screen time from binge-watching Netflix to playing Pokémon Go, Candy Crush, or the latest video game, but nothing draws them away more than constant text messaging.  Ask yourself this, “How many text messages does your child receive each day, each week, each month, and what is the impact of this on his or her homework?” While our children try to concentrate on homework, their cell phones emit a constant ping and/or vibration, luring them to near continual distraction.  Homework that should take thirty minutes to complete could take hours, because transitioning between two concurrent activities takes minutes, not seconds. 

While your children study, insist that their cell phones remain completely shut off, even in a different room.  Messages should be checked during study breaks only, and study breaks should follow twenty to thirty minute sessions of focused time. We cannot expect our children to be disciplined, particularly when we look in the mirror and assess our own culpability. 

The Calling Card of Our Future Leaders

            When you look at your children’s class, do you wonder who among them will rise to the top and become a true leader?  Who has what it takes not only to be successful in the classroom but also in the real world?  Who will become a change-maker?  I believe that every future leader shares one essential characteristic; that characteristic is the calling card of our future leaders.

            The obvious:  Our children are suffering from conversation deficit and are generally not reading. With computers and cell phones, real human interaction has largely evaporated.  With jam-packed extra-curricular schedules, family dinners have fallen by the wayside.  With carpooling, our children can hide in the back seat among friends, all quietly surfing the web or catching up on social media.  Between gaming and texting, children are only reading what they have to read for school.  As a result, they are often left insecure when engaging with adults.  They lack the sophisticated vocabulary that develops naturally through regular meaty conversation and consistent reading.

            The reality:  Communication, though, will continue to be critical in our growing digital world.  The ability to articulate opinions, to read facial expressions, to write fluently and concisely, to listen intently, to read effectively, and to speak eloquently will determine who, among our strongest students, will be tomorrow’s leaders. 

            The calling card:  Every one of these skills hinges on broad vocabulary development.  A strong vocabulary is the singular characteristic that distinguishes the very best students from their cohorts – their calling card.  Many students develop the admirable qualities of diligence and resilience and, through grit and hard work, rise to the top of their classes; however, when considering who among these students will be change-makers, my money is on the ones with the greatest facility of language – the best communicators. 

            Armed with an expansive vocabulary, our very best students interact comfortably with business leaders, contribute intelligibly to classroom discussions, comprehend written and oral scientific language, and surpass their classmates.

            The acquisition:  How can you get your children to expand their vocabularies?  I suggest two linked steps to reap maximum rewards.

1.     Read journalistic, high quality news.  Our high school-aged children need exposure to more nonfiction on a wide variety of issues.  Articles that are well-written and rife with rich vocabulary will build their word banks, reading comprehension, and understanding of today’s world quickly.  News gets a bad rap – with good reason during this year’s political campaign – but daily exposure to articles from The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, and other well-respected publications will distinguish your children from their classmates.

2.     Engage in follow-up family discussions to reinforce vocabulary and your children’s understanding of issues.  Dedicate five to ten minutes a day to a supplemental conversation on a selected news article.  Purposely incorporate strong vocabulary.  Expose your children to debate and open their minds to consider opposing sides, to question expressed opinions, and to become independent thinkers. 

            Through this meaningful family journey, your children will become not only better students and communicators but also more informed young men and women – hopefully our future change-makers.

The "P" Word

Here is what I know, for sure:

Oprah frustrated many adults and their children when she challenged us all, in so many words, to make our personal passions our life work.  I still cannot go one week without someone asking me, “What is your passion?” or asking me the same question relative to my college-aged children. 

Oprah was a motivational genius when she initiated this dilemma in the 1990’s, telling everyone, “What I know is, is that if you do work that you love, and work that fulfills you, the rest will come.”  She challenged each and every one of us to identify our passion, as if it is the singular profound link to finding success.  The question sent us all into a tailspin, all of us taking interest surveys and searching introspectively to identify what we love.  We have since passed that pressure-filled question onto our children and even linked its ever-important response to college admissions and eventual long-term job prospects.  If you can expend Malcolm Gladwell’s requisite 10,000 hours on your passion, you will become an expert in the field and, no doubt, find success.

Please know that I admire both Oprah Winfrey and Malcolm Gladwell; however, I have looked into the eyes of many a teenager and asked them what really makes them tick – “What do they enjoy doing in their free time?” – only to hear back the mundane response, “Hanging out with friends” or worse, “I don’t know.”  I have coached the ideal students – truly students who embrace every challenge – and yet, they have little motivation to pursue a singular topic of interest, other than those that are assigned to them in a classroom.

Well, I hate to admit it, and I really have grown to detest the “P” word, but finding a passion is really, really important.  I think where we all go astray is believing that our passion can only be that one monumental thing that motivates us, when, in reality, we can have multiple passions.

The summer is the ideal time to identify a passion – an interest or curiosity, if you will – a topic worthy of your thorough investigation.  I challenge you to challenge yourself and your children to pursue a topic of interest to exhaustion.  Put a topic about which you are intensely curious – kites, croquet, the Tudor family, fishing – under a microscope, and read, study, and explore all that you can about that topic.  This is not necessarily a life-long commitment, but try to make it at least a year-long commitment, to evaluate the depth of your interest.

I promise that such a pursuit will bring you joy, if not ultimate success.  Your newfound knowledge will serve to make you, to make your children, multidimensional, interesting, and interested.

That is what I know, for sure.

The Secret to Summer Reading . . . It Might Surprise You.

I’m going to let you in on a little secret:  most children do not enjoy summer reading.  As parents, we believe that our children, who loathe and procrastinate summer reading, are unique.  We imagine that most other teenagers dream wistfully of far-off adventures while lounging away the summer with a thick novel and that we instead must resort to bribing our children or to creating a schedule to enable their mere assigned summer reading completion!  We contemplate strapping our children to a chair with a book and fantasize that they will be hooked and fall romantically in love with the novel of our choosing, a literary classic.  These thoughts are simply misguided.

Few children enjoy reading today, and the number of teens who enjoy reading has sadly continued to decline in recent years.  Generation Z, with birthdates from the mid 90’s or later, have an attention span of about eight seconds.  It has never been more difficult to entice our children with a book. 

How can we get our kids to read over the summer?

Here are my suggestions:

·      Despite their growing age and their occasional disdain for you as parents, your children are watching you.  Model an interest in reading.  Talk excitedly about the books you are enjoying.  Share newspaper articles with your children.  Subscribe to magazines, and indulge.

·      Stop worrying about what your children are reading and simply encourage them to read.  They should not always have to read high-brow literature.

·      Have the entire family “drop everything and read” for thirty minutes each day.  Make the timing consistent, ban all electronics, and have the family enjoy reading together in the same room.

·      Check out audiobooks from the library or download them from audible.com.  Audiobooks and podcasts, such as This American Life, Freakonomics Radio, and Ted Radio Hour, are excellent fodder for summer car trips.

·      Consider treating your children to a book or a magazine each Friday night during the summer.  Let this book or magazine be a fun surprise to which you all look forward.  Vary your selections.

·      Have your entire family read the same book for a summer book club, and let your child choose the book.  Plan a special dinner and book discussion, and give every family member cooking and discussion question responsibilities.

·      Visit the library or book store as a family, just as you may have done when your children were much younger.

·      Read aloud a gripping thriller, chapter by chapter, at family dinners.

And don’t . . .

·      Nag them to read.

·      Ask them when they plan to start their assigned summer reading.  (Let this be their responsibility.  If you implement some of the suggestions above, they will have ample opportunity to complete their assignments.)

·      Argue with them about reading.

Finally, here are some tried and true suggestions, which most teens enjoy.  None of these titles will surprise readers who keep up with popular titles; however, this list can serve as a launching point. Please note that some of these suggestions may be considered controversial, so consult a website, such as Goodreads, to be fully informed and ready to discuss content:

Fiction:

1.     The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins

2.     Looking for Alaska by John Green

3.     The Fault in Our Stars by John Green

4.     Thirteen Reasons Why by Jay Asher

5.     Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson

6.     My Sister’s Keeper by Jodi Picoult

7.     The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time by Mark Haddon

8.     Eleanor & Park by Rainbow Rowell

9.     The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky

10.  Me Before You by JoJo Moyes

Non-Fiction:

1.     A Walk in the Woods by Bill Bryson

2.     The Boys in the Boat by Daniel James Brown

3.     The Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell

4.     The Week Magazine

5.     Freakonomics by Steven D. Levitt and Stephen J. Dubner

6.     Into Thin Air by Jon Krakauer

7.     Seabiscuit by Laura Hillenbrand

8.     The Other Wes Moore by Wes Moore

Happy summer!  Happy reading!

All Bets Are Off

     “And they’re off!!” 

     The Kentucky Derby was this past weekend.  Extravagant hats emitted airs of wealth and sophistication amid a spectacular party of bourbon and mint juleps.  Horses, released from their stalls, sought admiration and accolades as they sprinted for a mile and a quarter.  Money was spilled; money was made. 

     Truth be told, I have never been to the Derby, but in my mind, there are many parallels between this horse race at Churchill Downs and the horse race our children experience in high school Advanced Placement (AP) classes. Our still young colts and fillies literally race through a rigid training program at breakneck speed in preparation for a final, high stakes test that could well determine their futures.  Coincidentally, the Kentucky Derby falls right in the middle of AP testing, a prescribed two-week period at the beginning of May.

The Racehorses

     When we were high school students, high schools offered, at most, a handful of AP classes.  Since then, though, the College Board has evolved into a moneymaking machine, broadening AP class offerings to exceed 35 and administering almost 4.5 million exams, at $91 a pop, to nearly 2.5 million students in 2015.  The number of students taking AP exams has doubled in the last decade. Students know that they must demonstrate successful completion of a rigorous course load to vie for college admission slots at competitive schools, so they are signing up in increasing numbers for these AP “college level” classes, which also carry bonus quality points and ramp up a student’s weighted grade point average.

     And AP classes are no longer just for the strongest college-bound high school students.  Now, there are “hard” AP classes (e.g., Physics C) and “soft” AP classes (e.g., environmental science), and no doubt college admissions offices know the difference.  In other words, AP classes come at different levels of difficulty, so at least one of them will fulfill your child’s aspiring needs.

     If all of these students are signing up for AP classes in increasing numbers, then what does enrollment in an AP class really say about the students?  The accessibility to AP classes has certainly diminished the positive impact of mere enrollment, and, accordingly, the pressure to perform well on AP exams has increased.  Highly selective colleges expect more than mere passing scores (3+ on a scale of one to five) on AP exams.  Students’ futures often lie in their testing results, as does the job security of their teachers. 

The Fastest Two Minutes in Sports

     The AP curriculum affects classroom instruction year round, not just in May.  Classroom instruction in AP classes is severely regimented.  Teachers race through topics to cover adequately all that a student is expected to know for the broad breadth of the final exam.  There is little to no time for creative diversions, field trips, or additional exploration of topics.  You may be surprised to learn that neither your school board nor your teacher is controlling your child’s curriculum; rather the College Board is.

     Moreover, with less than one month of school to go, instruction in many high school classrooms has come to a virtual halt – the race is already over. May AP testing means that not only must all instruction within any AP classroom be complete by May 1, but also that students of all high school grade levels must miss significant time in other non-AP classrooms to take these lengthy tests.  Teachers of non-AP classes often stop teaching while students come and go from their rooms for AP exams. 

The Finish

       I believe that it is time to call it quits with the AP curriculum.  Imagine a secondary education where interesting seminar classes abound with teachers’ offering creative instruction and inventive (not standardized) testing that enables different types of learners to shine in their own right.  Teachers could then aim to develop the “out-of-the-box” thinkers that we so desperately need.  If your child’s school does not offer AP classes, then your child is at no disadvantage in the college admissions process by not having AP classes on his or her transcript.  College admissions officers expect your child to challenge him or herself, but they never suggest that the only way to do so is through AP classes.  Indeed, many of the best schools in the country have abandoned the AP curriculum.  It might just be time to ask your school or school board to “scratch” the AP curriculum too.

Love Is In the Air . . . Or Not!

         I have a student who just received the devastating news that his relationship had ended.  After over nine months of courtship and signs of promising affection, he received word from his loved one – by email, to boot – that his relationship would go no further.  My student is heartbroken!  He really thought this relationship would last, but it simply was not to be.  So, too, was the fate of so many of his classmates who also received word in the last two weeks that their dream school was simply not interested in them.

         Finding the right college placement is very much like a first relationship for our children.  The schools flirt with them by inundating our mailbox with glossy love letters and captivating photos.  Our students’ interest is piqued, and much money is invested in the relationship.  Our whole family plans a day trip, or perhaps a weekend trip, to explore the relationship.  The relationship escalates as our children become emotionally invested, through social media, websites, and otherwise, to ensure that they have found the “right” one.  They may even contact shared connections – others who know the school of interest.  They may seek the help of matchmakers, or college counselors, to help seal the deal. 

         Then, our children confess their undying love for the school in personal essays and divulge all of their deepest and darkest secrets, only to wait patiently thereafter, for months on end, wondering if their love will be returned.

         And, then, bam!  An email comes that breaks our children’s hearts and shreds their dreams into tiny pieces.  “We are not compatible,” the school says, or, in some cases, “I want to date other people and see where our relationship goes” (i.e., Waitlisted!).

         As parents, we know how difficult the path to love is to navigate.  What can we do to safeguard our children’s hearts and futures without usurping their independence?  Parents of sophomores and juniors take note:

         As an academic coach, I first caution my students about having an exclusive and elusive end-goal to their high school careers.  Instead, I recommend that they consult a college counselor and cultivate a generous list of college options that fits his or her interests, needs, and profile.  Be certain, I warn, to have plenty of choices, and while all choices will not be equal, all choices must be realistic and acceptable options.  In other words, date around!  There is more than one right mate for your child.  However long your college list is, add one or two more colleges to the list for good measure, because the percentage of applicants accepted to highly selective colleges dwindles each and every year.   Remember that yesterday’s safety is today’s reach, so make sure you have several attainable choices.

         After you have sufficiently readied yourself for the very real potential of heartache, encourage your child to put him or herself out there.  If your child’s dream is Harvard, and he or she has a fighting chance, then pull out all of the stops.  Special testing is required for these highly selective schools, including SAT Subject Tests, so do your research carefully or consult a professional.

         With all of the rejections sent out in the last two weeks, some folks are suggesting that where you go to school does not matter that much. (See Frank Bruni’s podcast on Times Insider:  http://www.nytimes.com/2016/04/06/insider/college-admissions-stop-the-madness.html ) As much as I want to offer you solace and agree, I simply cannot.  While a student can graduate from a lesser name school, even a community college, and find tremendous success, the odds are not stacked in his or her favor.  We can debate the validity of college rankings, but consider those rankings that weigh the number of graduates employed and what their average salaries are.  These are measurable indicators of financial success.

         The college admissions process is not for sissies.  Your heart may well be broken.  Decide whether the risk is worth it, and, if so, go for it! 

Everybody Bombed That Test!

         My girlfriends and I have discussed how each of our children, at some point, has come home from school, and when asked about a test grade, or perhaps even as a preemptive gesture, he or she has proclaimed, ”Everybody bombed that test!” 

         Our replies may vary slightly, but they generally fall into one of the following categories:

·      “I don’t care how everybody else did!”

·      “Again?”

·      “Even [insert smart kid’s name here]?”

Now, granted, by “bombed,” I am not talking about a B or even a B-.  I mean at least two letter grades below the typical grades our children bring home.

         The fact that your child may have “bombed” a singular test is not the concern. I am much more worried about the child who sails through high school without ever “failing” an assignment.  How your child, and perhaps you, respond to that much-lower-than-usual grade, though, is of concern.

         Abraham Lincoln once said, “My great concern is not whether you have failed, but whether you are content with failure.” As a parent, you should be concerned if neither your child nor your teacher is taking steps to improve your child’s understanding of the material. 

         First, you want your child to display grit.  Many cite grit as the singular most important factor to a child’s academic success. (See, for example, the following TED talk: https://www.ted.com/talks/angela_lee_duckworth_the_key_to_success_grit?language=en). Encourage your child to struggle with the material.  Direct him or her to consult the textbook, the teacher, YouTube, or Khan Academy.

Second, many courses are cumulative - they build on material learned earlier.  This is particularly true in both math and foreign language classes but is also often the case in history and science.  Your child should take swift steps to remediate the difficult material.

         And do not mistake grit for the simple motivation for an improved grade.  If your child gets out his or her trusty TI-84 calculator and starts to spout off expectations for higher grades on the next four assignments, which will raise his or her quarterly grade to an 89.5, be concerned.  If your child’s gut reaction is to ask the teacher for the opportunity to make test corrections in exchange for extra credit or points back, that too is a cause for concern.

         As an academic coach and parent, I try to instill in my students and children a desire to learn the material.  Realistically, they must keep an eye on their grades as well, for the college race is ongoing, but first and foremost, acquiring the skills necessary to be a successful college student is paramount.

         “Everybody bombed that test” could be your child’s waving the white flag.  He or she may want to give up, to throw in the towel, to abandon attempts to understand the material at the expected level.  If we want our children to have grit, we must demonstrate that we have grit as well.  Do not assume that your child’s poor performance is the teacher’s fault.  Even if it is, encourage your child to acquire the knowledge and skill necessary to move on.  Grit it out!

Read This Before You Take the Redesigned SAT!

Do you remember when the sport of gymnastics changed its scoring in 2006?  Gone were the days when Nadia Comaneci’s perfect score of 10 was easily comprehensible.  In its place, the gymnastics world established complex scoring formulas, which require a degree in statistics to interpret.  The sport of gymnastics wanted to make achieving perfection a pursuit, more challenging for the gymnast.  This transition, though, made watching gymnastics a lot less accessible to the general public. 

So too is the case with the redesigned SAT, set to launch next month.  The College Board, which administers the test, has made its scoring more complex and more difficult to interpret.  I contend that the scoring is also unfairly misleading. 

The PSAT, administered this past October, follows the new scoring format, and since the release of PSAT scores last month, the College Board has been riddled with criticisms about the percentiles it assessed to its 2015 PSAT test takers.   

New this year, the College Board arbitrarily inflated PSAT percentiles by using a Nationally Representative Sample percentile, which shows how a student’s score compares to all United States students in a particular grade, “including those who don’t typically take the test.”  In other words, the percentile takes into account students with no intention of attending college. This score is in contrast to previously issued percentiles that reflected performance in relationship only to other test-takers.  High schools across the country are reporting higher numbers of students earning a 99th percentile score on the 2015 PSAT.  Moreover, on reports downloaded last month, the College Board shared only this misleading higher percentile.  These higher percentiles suggest to students that they have earned a more competitive standing than is accurate.

Why does this matter? In my opinion, the College Board, which has lost significant market share to its competitor, the ACT, is masking students’ true performance and luring them into signing up for the SAT.  Let me explain the set-up: 

The redesigned SAT scoring is quite complex and confusing:

·      The College Board has returned to the old scale, 400 to 1600 with just two sections (1) Evidence-Based Reading and Writing and (2) Math, but the PSAT is oddly scored from 320 to 1520.

·      The SAT has three test scores (Reading, Writing and Language, and Math) and two Cross-Test Scores (Analysis in both History/Social Studies and Science), both of which are reported on a scale of 10 to 40.

·      Then, the SAT has 7 Subscores (Command of Evidence, Words in Context, Expression of Ideas, Standard English Conventions, Heart of Algebra, Problem Solving and Data Analysis, and Passport to Advanced Math), all reported on a scale of 1 to 15.

Bottom line, the scoring is completely different from the old SAT and very complicated.  Accordingly, test-takers turn to the percentiles, a statistic that they mistakenly believe that they understand. 

This is why the misleading percentiles are such a big deal.  By issuing inflated percentiles on the PSAT, the College Board is no doubt luring students into taking the redesigned SAT under false hope.  Students anticipate that their projected score will be very competitive for the selective colleges they are considering.  The reality may be, though, that their performance will be far inferior to their expectations.  Some may not even realize their error until they are rejected from their dream college.

Do not go into the March SAT only to be blind-sided by the hidden facts.  Either stick with the ACT to avoid the smoke and mirrors, or seek professional advice. 

Help! My teacher is awful.

Through the years, my students have reaped the benefits of encouraging and engaging teachers whose compassion pervades all that they do.  These teachers enthusiastically impart wisdom and life skills.  Every now and then, however, my students will land in a high school classroom where the teacher-student connection is lacking, to say the least.  Turmoil ensues.  The student complains.  Perhaps more students complain.  A parent complains, and before you know it, a slew of parents have lodged complaints.  Sometimes these complaints are justified.

I believe that teachers worthy of complaint fall into one or more of the following four categories:

1.     The teacher who fails to teach. This typically well-educated teacher wastes class time by sharing personal stories and straying off-topic without conveying fundamental material.

2.     The teacher who is unable to teach. This teacher has been misplaced in a subject matter beyond his or her capabilities or, in contrast, is very intelligent but lacks the capacity to reduce the material to a form comprehensible for the high school class level.

3.     The teacher who is disconnected.  This fortunately rare teacher does not care about the students but likely landed the job by chance or circumstance.  He or she is not intent on mentoring or teaching the students.  This teacher is usually unavailable to students for tutorials.

4.     The teacher who is unenthusiastic.  This teacher is either burnt out from years of teaching or lacks the fervor necessary to motivate and to engage students.

Often paired with one or more of these traits is the teacher’s keen proclivity to issue grades arbitrarily. 

If your high-school-aged child falls into a class with a teacher worthy of complaint, what should you do?

In most cases, you should do very, very little.  Be there for moral support and to listen carefully to ensure that your child’s physical or mental well-being is not at stake.  Refrain from bad mouthing the teacher.  Encourage and guide your child to handle the problem tactfully himself or herself by addressing the teacher directly first or by seeking out a guidance counselor or principal, as necessary.

This is the real world in action.  Do not shelter your high schooler from this experience.  Your child needs to develop the skills necessary to adapt – to be able to interact and to work cooperatively with different, or perhaps difficult, personality types.  In the process, your child will develop resilience and hopefully some very important autodidactic skills. He or she may also gain negotiating and communication skills.

If your assessment of the situation requires your parental intervention, do so professionally and by following the proper chain of command.  Come armed with evidence and a calm demeanor and include your child in the process. 

Situations such as these are infrequently resolved to a parent’s satisfaction, but be reassured that your child is learning a lot from this frustrating experience.

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year!

I can still remember the feeling when I walked out of my last exam.  That feeling ranks right up there among my most unreservedly overjoyed moments . . .truly.  As I reflect back on the angst of years of approaching exams, I have questioned the value of the exam process.  Here are some of my conclusions.

Despite the sheer terror evoked by exams, exams have tremendous value.  They help to sharpen the focus of the entire course.  They connect the dots, forcing the student to interlink the units covered over the semester and to find common themes.  A proper exam is fair and gives the student with a strong work ethic an opportunity to find better understanding and success.  With a student’s successful performance on an exam comes a shared feeling of accomplishment for both the student and his or her teacher. 

Because of the value I have found in the exam process, I question the increasing tradition of schools to offer students exemptions from exams for high grades and strong attendance.  I believe we may be robbing students of the capstone to their semester’s work.  Please don’t tell my students that I feel this way; it will not be a popular sentiment.

During a recent visit to Princeton University, I had an opportunity to discuss midterms with students, which in November, there, had only recently passed.  I have incorporated some student reflections about exam preparation into my list of how to ensure successful prep.  Whether your high school student has exams this week or next month, take note of these tips:

1.     Do not underestimate the power of regular exercise, proper nutrition, and a good night’s sleep!

2.     Ask your teacher about the format of the exam.

3.     Gather and organize well, by subtopics, all materials needed for exam preparation, including all available assessments from the semester.

4.     Prepare a realistic and detailed study schedule and identify what specifically, by subtopic, will be studied during each session.  Schedule breaks at least every 30 to 45 minutes, and spread your studying over at least five days for each course.

5.     Anticipate what your teacher deems most important in each subtopic.

6.     Spend 80% of study time on a combination of what your teacher deems most important and on what is most difficult for you to understand; spend the remaining 20% on the easier content.

7.     Details can be very important, but do not neglect the big picture.  Try to grasp overarching themes and concepts.

8.     Use on-line resources.

9.     Create your own study tools that complement your learning style.

10. Do not be afraid to ask for help, from both your teachers and your peers!

I wish for your child that same feeling of elation that I can evoke in my memories of exam terms gone by.

Grades Are In!

With the conclusion of the first quarter, do you know your student’s grades?  At this point, most parents have logged on to their child’s school parent portal to study first quarter grades and, in some cases, have discovered that their child may need academic support; however, I am amazed at the number of high school students who still do not have access to or do not check grades on a regular basis.

In this digital age, staying abreast of entered grades is essential to strong study habits.  By checking grades periodically, perhaps once a week, a student can understand how a teacher weights assignments and ensure that grades are entered properly.  While grades should never serve as the sole motivation for learning new material, marks can inspire a student to put in a little extra effort to eke out that next threshold score.

Some students can demonstrate the opposite behavior; they are obsessed with every point and calculate the scores they need to earn on the last three assignments to ensure an A for the quarter.  I certainly am not promoting this compulsive behavior.

While cultivating a curious mind and engaging your child in the learning process are the most important goals, parents should also encourage high school students to track their grades independently.  Try not to be the parents who tell their child how he or she performed on that last history test because you read it on line!  Instead, encourage your high school student to log on to the school portal and check grades.  A little extra motivation to study never hurts.

Are Girls Really Doing as Well as Boys in the Classroom?

Why are girls so hesitant to participate in class?  And when they do speak, why do they speak softly, even timidly?  Why do they often fail to assume significant leadership positions in co-ed high schools?  The Huffington Post reported last year that girls are much less likely to be leaders in high school STEM classes than boys.  These disparities sadly persist, as these girls become women in the workplace.

Indeed, women equality in the workplace was a big topic of discussion in the news last week.  Covered by podcasts and news networks alike, we took stock of the modifications that have been made in the workplace and unfortunately of how far we still have to go before we effect real change. 

With the release on Tuesday of Princeton Professor and New America’s CEO and President Anne-Marie Slaughter’s new book, Unfinished Business, workplaces are charged to improve caring issues for men and women alike.  Slaughter believes that this will be integral to our achieving true equality.  A day later, new statistics released by the McKinsey Group under Facebook executive Sheryl Sandberg’s Lean In organization tout that parity will not be achieved in upper level management positions in our country for 100 years.  Imagine that: 100 more years of gender inequality!  

While statistics from college admissions may lead us to believe that women are outpacing men in high school, the evidence suggests otherwise.  True, college applications from women outnumber men annually, and some selective colleges have broken the 50-50 balances in favor of women; however, in high school, overshadowed by their male counterparts, girls often underperform and fail to attain leadership status.

First Lady Michelle Obama chimed in last week to suggest that girls often feel self-conscious about opposing boys in high school classrooms.  She urged them to “Beat the boys,” or at least to compete with them.

Consistent with news reports, I have found that girls shut down in the co-ed classroom.  Their responses to questions posed by teachers are often timid and stated as an inquiry, rather than firmly asserted as the boys so frequently do.  We can debate whether this gap derives from teacher bias or from student performance, but we must take action to change the course for the next generation of working women.  We must arm our girls with the confidence to jump in and to compete with the boys.

This is something I have long noted and incorporated in my academic coaching.  I coach students on how to respond in the classroom and on when to volunteer, with special attention to my female students who are often more shy and less confident in class participation.  Take the time to discuss your child’s self-image and the image she projects with her at dinner tonight.  Encourage her to speak up and to do so with conviction.

Take a Break from the Books!

As an academic coach, one of the goals I often champion is achieving balance:  combining just the right amount of academic rigor with family time, physical exercise, artistic or musical pursuits, social engagement, and rest.  Many of our children fail to achieve balance – (heck, many of us fail to do so as well!). Usually this is because they or we become overly obsessed with any one area: enrolling in too many AP classes, binge watching Netflix, playing video games endlessly, partying too much, or becoming consumed by a hobby or sport.  Balance falls by the wayside.

As families struggle to make difficult decisions about how to achieve balance for their children, they prioritize; and one priority families frequently make is to forego participation in an extracurricular activity, such as a school sport, for the sake of academics.  I would caution parents not to jump to this resolution too quickly. 

Time management is a skill that must be learned, and we learn time management by having a tight schedule.  No student learns time management by having two hours of homework to do during six available hours at home in the evening.  Students learn to juggle their busy lives by being under some stress.  Scheduling study time and prioritizing homework assignments become necessary when time is short.  Students become more productive, efficient, and resilient when they hone these skills.  If we shelter our children from all stress, we inhibit their resilience and development of time management skills.

Dedication to extracurricular activities sometimes leads to students’ missing class time.  Athletes depart early from school for away matches or games.  This is an opportunity for students to cultivate independence and to demonstrate responsibility.  Guide your child to communicate with teachers about missed class time; do not assume that the teacher knows of an impending absence.  Instead, encourage your child to communicate by email or in person about an upcoming game and to attend to any missed assessments by scheduling a make-up before the absence occurs.  (And do not do it for them!) 

Students may also need to communicate with peers to obtain class notes and to ensure they stay on track.  They learn the importance of interdependence, that they need each other to be successful. We want our children to practice navigating these waters before they leave home for college or a career.

Bottom line, the message sent to our children when we place academics above all other activities is that perhaps balance is not important after all.  Academics should be high on the priority list, but remember that the old adage holds true, “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.” Encourage your children to embrace and pursue their interests, and enable them to develop the skills they need to seek balance in their lives.

Tracking Assignments in a Digital Age

One of the most common battles I see between students and their parents at the beginning of the school year is the agenda.  Parents purchase expensive, often beautiful calendars so that their children can carefully record every homework assignment.  Their children obediently carry the calendar to and from school, but by week three, they have stopped recording homework assignments on its pristine pages.  The students protest that they have found another way that suits them better to keep up with homework, and a battle ensues. 

Of course, students need to track assignments to ensure that they neither miss deadlines nor fail to complete homework.  Old-fashioned calendars offer certain benefits, including the following two:

1.    Kinesthetic learners are often more likely to remember an assignment that they have physically written down, and 

2.    Helicopter parents have access to a ready checklist to verify their child’s homework completion. 

In this digital age, though, parents should be flexible about the way children track assignments, take notes, and complete work.  In high school, students are learning how to function independently and to develop their own to-do lists and organizational styles.  If your child prefers using an app like ClassManager or myHomework Student Planner to a physical calendar, by all means let him or her do so.  (I recommend My Study Life).  Your child may also prefer taking notes on a laptop.  By typing class notes into Google Docs, your child can access notes at home, even if his or her notebook and laptop are still in the school locker!   Parents may not be familiar with all of the new ways schoolwork can be tracked, organized, and completed.  Let your child take the lead.

 Allow your child to experiment, at the very least until he or she misses an assignment or deadline.  Offer suggestions, but cultivate your child’s independence by relinquishing control of these tasks to your high school-aged child.  You might just learn a better way of organizing!