Feeling Remote

In the movie “Groundhog Day,” Bill Murray plays a meteorologist who becomes trapped in time, stuck in Punxsutawney as February 2nd, Groundhog Day, begins each morning anew with his radio alarm blasting “I’ve Got You Babe.” His behavior becomes increasingly risky because he bears no repercussions for his actions; each day bleeds into the next, erasing the day before. He ultimately falls into depression and yearns for true human connection.

Most of us are living out that movie in our own lives now. We lose track of the day, the week, or even the month. The days stretch endlessly and repetitively, calendars wiped clean of significant events, such as concerts, sporting events, weddings, plane trips, and parties. Now that the public school system has announced remote learning for the first nine weeks of the school year, our time warp continues.

Pre-pandemic, our children were already under a lot of stress and anxiety, but their angst about school, grades, and résumés has recently been compounded exponentially. Many students share not only our economic and health fears – for ourselves and/or our community – but also fears of the unknown. What will the future hold for them?

Security is a critical prerequisite for readiness to learn, so we need to do what we can to make our children feel supported and safe, lest they too will resort to risky behavior that will serve neither them nor their futures.

Here are my recommendations for remote learning this fall:

 ·      Connect. Children need real human connection, preferably with a carefully selected peer or two. Cultivating social skills will help our children ultimately to become contributors to society and to maintain mental health. Our children need a support network beyond family. Try to help them connect with a peer or two in-person safely.

·      Promote life balance. Students should not expect, and you should not expect them, to dedicate more than six hours of each school day to coursework, including homework. With remote learning in place, their committed time to studying coursework should be trimmed, freeing up time to find life balance. They should supplement school work with real community service, whenever possible, and with a hobby that brings them joy. Our world is in crisis, and each person should, in his or her own way, attempt to make someone else’s day and his or her own day brighter. 

·      Listen and supplement. Take an interest in your children’s coursework. Be proactive. Enhance coursework by watching and discussing with your children documentaries that bolster classroom learning. Pull magazine and newspaper articles of interest to share.

·      Adapt and innovate. These times certainly warrant adaptability, but they also require creativity and innovation. The children who will be best able to transcend remote learning will be those who truly think beyond their prescribed path. As parents, we must embrace the potential for such departures.

·      Most of all, monitor mood and mental health. Watch for signs of depression, such as irregular sleeping patterns and increased isolation.

While we may be “feeling remote” now, we must remain optimistic about a future world where people can reunite physically and politically. Hope is a proven antidepressant. Rest assured, Bill Murray’s character found his happy ending.

Does My Child Still Need to Take the SAT and the ACT?

The short answer is yes. Admittedly, that’s a self-serving statement, but the reality is that standardized testing, while an imperfect measurement of student aptitude, is still the best tool we currently have to distinguish a pool of applicants coming from a variety of educational backgrounds where grade inflation is rampant, recommendations suspect, and college essays over-edited, if not cooked.

When I woke up this morning, I read a New York Times op ed entitled, “Will the Coronavirus Kill College Admissions Tests?” https://www.nytimes.com/2020/05/26/opinion/coronavirus-college-admissions-tests.html?searchResultPosition=3 The presentation of opposing opinions on the issue reveals the complexities of college admissions and of the system’s inherent inequities. 

While the University of California system has opted out of the ACT and the SAT for the short and long-term and many other colleges have embraced a test-optional status for this year’s applicants, I do not expect all colleges to quickly seize this approach. I also do not anticipate that the College Board and the ACT, a nearly one billion-dollar industry, will quietly fade into the background.

As we consider our children’s options today, they simultaneously seem (1) narrowed by the economic ramifications of the pandemic, by the uncertainties surrounding the resumption of public gatherings, by the restrictions placed on study abroad programs, and by diluted remote instruction and (2) expanded because prompt matriculation to a four-year college is much less the clear and obvious choice for all students. Students can create their own gap-year options by serving the community, enlisting in the military, starting a business, engaging in an internship, or attending community college. So, why should my child still invest time and money in standardized testing?

The world is changing at a breakneck pace. No one can anticipate fully where we will be just six months from now. I could be wrong about the testing industry; it could meet a quick death, but I do not anticipate its rapid demise, despite the movement by some college leaders. Our children, in my opinion, are best served at this time to keep their options open.

 “Test optional” does not mean that colleges will ignore submitted test scores. Students who gamble and apply without test scores run the risk of being edged out by similarly-situated applicants whose records have been substantiated by scores. 

The college admissions system is, as we now all know, especially after the Varsity Blues scandal, gamed. Righting the system and rooting out inequities will be a hard-fought battle, and, as long as our society overvalues and overprioritizes a college education, as the op-ed notes, these inequities will persist to some degree. As a community, we should keep society’s best interests at heart, but, as parents, we must also protect our children’s best interests. For now, I believe our children should test. 

Summer and Fall Enrollment Form Release 2020

I am, now more than ever, grateful for your interest in Arbor Road Academy. I hope to serve you well in the coming year, particularly during this dynamic educational moment in history. My priority is and always will be the academic and emotional development of your children – helping them to navigate our ever-changing world and preparing them for their next steps, whatever they may be. In partnership with you, I will continue to hold them accountable and to help ensure their steady growth.

The following links will allow you to download forms for 2020 summer and fall enrollment. Please fill out the forms completely. Historically, enrollment fills very quickly. Priority is given based on the time and date of receipt of completed forms. Returning families will receive a three-day enrollment priority window. I recommend that all families, though, submit forms as quickly as possible. Again, thank you for your interest. 

 Summer Enrollment Form 2020

Fall Enrollment Form 2020

Summer and Fall Enrollment Forms Will Be Released Monday, May 4

One thing is certain in this uncertain world: Education will forever be changed by COVID-19. It already has changed significantly. Our children are coping with online classes, online AP Exams, and the loss of some summer programming. Ensuring that our children have support and consistent instruction is paramount. Interest in academic coaching, test prep, and tutoring in our newfound virtual world has increased, as parents see value in the daily structure and accountability expected of students at Arbor Road Academy.

On Monday, May 4, we will release summer and fall enrollment forms here. Historically, enrollment has filled very quickly and, if inquiries are any indication, they will fill quickly next week as well. Returning families will enjoy a three-day priority window; however, new families should not wait, because slots will be awarded based on the time and date of the receipt of the form(s). 

Thank you for your interest and support. 

Making an Informed Decision about Standardized Testing

I am sitting in front of my computer for hours each day, tutoring online, Zooming with family and friends, and allowing my muscles to tighten. I’m in desperate need of a good stretch because now, more than ever, I need to be flexible.

Yesterday, the CollegeBoard, citing student safety, announced the cancellation of its June SAT. The next SAT is slated for August, and if public gatherings are still deemed unsafe at that time, the CollegeBoard has promised to offer an online option. The ACT has scheduled June and July test dates and has not canceled either of these tests . . . yet. 

Meanwhile, colleges are increasingly turning to a test-optional status for the next admissions cycle, so students and parents are left to decide how to proceed with testing and with test prep during very uncertain times.

Is testing still important? 

I firmly believe that any college, test optional or not, is more apt to admit a student with a strong record if that record has been confirmed by test scores, so I recommend prioritizing and pursuing testing and prep if economically feasible. I highly recommend this plan if the student’s test scores will likely bolster his or her record or if any of the student’s preferred colleges still require testing. A thorough review of the current testing requirements for the colleges on the student’s list, along with consultation with his or her college counselor, is advised.

Will my student’s scores likely boost his or her application? The best indicators of a student’s potential for successful testing are a combination of proven results (past scores on similar standardized tests – the PSAT, the pre-ACT, the SAT, and the ACT, most notably), the student’s work ethic, and the student’s enthusiasm. Keep in mind, however, that if a rising senior, by fall’s end, is ultimately not a “successful” test taker because he or she is unable to produce scores worthy of submission, in many circumstances, he or she will not need to submit those scores. Few colleges require students to submit all scores from all sittings. Indeed, in light of the many lost opportunities to improve scores during this testing season, I anticipate that colleges that continue to require the submission of all scores will draw rightful criticism. Accordingly, the primary deterrents from pursuing testing - the loss of time, energy, and money -  are likely, at most, what any student’s family stands to lose. 

Summer jobs and internships, camps, college visits, college applications, online schooling, sports, and, of course, AP exams and standardized testing are now weighty concerns for our children. Flexibility and adaptability are life skills to target for nurturing. . . good decision making, too. 

I need to resume my yoga practice!

Independent Learning

With the transition to online learning, parents of high schoolers are likely hearing about the platforms children’s teachers are using for online instruction, the types of work assigned, and the required commitment from students. The terrain for our children has become treacherous, often without a roadmap, leaving them to navigate an uncertain path. For teachers, finding the right balance between online instruction and independent assignments is also uncharted territory. Some teachers are assigning an overabundance of work; other teachers are literally handing the reins to available online resources. A brief glance at the accrued grades and even the missing assignments of our children since the onset of our captivity may provide insight to a critical question: Is my child an independent learner?

One of the hidden treasures of “sheltering in place” is the opportunity for students to pursue independent learning. How often and well they chase this opportunity is important for parents to track, particularly for high school students, because it is a college readiness marker.

As I have watched students transition from high school to college, a common pitfall for new collegians has been an inability to manage time. In college, time initially seems more abundant. Classes are scheduled often at the students’ whim - for later in the day, spaced well apart, with Fridays free – opening windows of available time. Moreover, required submitted work is minimal. How well students fill available time and chunk studying can determine success, much as how effectively your high school children manage their study and free time at home during this quarantine will determine their success.

Effective independent learners demonstrate intellectual curiosity, self-discipline, organization, and direction. Here are a few suggestions to cultivate improved independent learning, especially if your child is struggling. Please note that these efforts will only be effective if implemented collaboratively. Your child, after all, must be an integral part of the process to foster his or her independence.

·      Instill intellectual curiosity. Insist upon the pursuit of a passion for pure joy alone: art, music, reading, exercise, and/or research. Note that gaming and binge-watching are not options. 

·      Require self-discipline and organization. Insist on a clean and uncluttered workspace. Attention during any online instruction is critical. Removing cell phones and other distractions from the workspace can enable more meaningful learning, improved focus, and efficient use of time. 

·      Provide a white board for to-do lists. A white board offers several positive advantages. The student can visualize what must be accomplished, the student experiences the satisfaction associated with erasing or crossing off assignments upon completion, and the parent can track progress. For the child averse to a planner of any sort, a white board is a good organizational starting point.

·      Plan and dream.  Help develop a reasonable schedule with your child that sets forth the hours dedicated to study and work. Engage in dreaming about the future and in academic and personal goal setting.

How sad will it be if, when we come to the end of our captivity, we have little to show for it? Hopefully, our families are bonding and learning better. If not, let’s do what we can to make that happen. 

In Search of a Silver Lining

My anxiety is at an all-time high. Concerns about the elderly, the stock market, the immunocompromised, schooling, job security, local businesses, the poor, vacation plans, toilet paper, paper towels, hand sanitizer, and health mount, and my face itches! If we are feeling stressed, we know that our children are stressed as well. They see fear on our faces and in our actions. They may also feel confused because, at this writing, our local community seems scarcely touched by hard evidence of the novel Coronavirus. We in North Carolina are experiencing the calm before the storm. Some stores are packed; families and friends are enjoying fresh air and strolls as if on vacation; parking lots are full. Right now, the hype seems overblown, yet, deep down, we know that the virus is lurking just beneath the surface. We know that we should heed the call to isolate and to learn from our global neighbors.

 For a generation of well-traveled children and for adults whose lives and calendars are perpetually full, the idea of isolating at home and of too many home-cooked meals may spark paranoia and claustrophobia. In pursuit of therapy, I am here to offer a few silver linings that come with our prison sentence. 

·      The reduction in traffic during our isolation will reduce air pollution and carbon emissions. China reported significant improvements in air quality during the first quarter of the year.

·      Cleanliness is “going viral.” Many more people are washing their hands and their surfaces frequently.

·      We are being forced to slow down and to connect as a family and as a community.

·      We are hopefully becoming more generous and empathetic. 

·      The political lines of divisiveness are growing fuzzier as we fight in solidarity against this new common enemy.

·      #coronakindness

I am not naïve. I know that the list of disadvantages is already and will be longer than my budding list of attributes; however, while more misfortunes are looming, focusing on some of these positive benefits instead can help to quell anxiety.

Like us, our children will also be adapting to a new normal for a few weeks (at least). We can help their transition by providing structure. We must not allow our confinement to become a staycation. Streaming, gaming, and sleeping should be limited to a consistent schedule. Studying, schoolwork (even if working ahead), and chores should be programmed and regimented; skills will be lost otherwise. Sunshine, play, and social contact with the family and beyond, as appropriate, are essential to maintaining mental health. Our healthy children absolutely should not isolate themselves inside our own homes for hours and hours.

In short, let’s not be all doom and gloom, nor should we paint a falsely rosy picture; however, we must seek and find the silver linings in this very unique shared experience in our lifetime.

In step with our new normal, Arbor Road Academy is now offering classes by FaceTime and Google Hangout to hone and develop math and writing skills, to coach and assist with online coursework, and to  prepare for standardized testing. 

Expect the Unexpected

With rain-soaked terrain, fallen trees have cut power to my neighborhood with increasing frequency despite a lack of snow. On a sunny day, a text notification comes across my phone that the power is out . . . again. With each such notification, I consider what I have in my refrigerator and how the lack of power will impact my business, home temperature, plans, and attitude. My expectation for consistent power and the disruption of that expectation can send me reeling. These experiences, along with other disappointments, have made me reflect on how our expectations can affect our children and us.

 Our hopes and dreams are many. We dream of our children reading early, becoming star soccer players, excelling as students, slaying their AP classes, enrolling at a four-year selective college, preferably Chapel Hill, taking over the family business, meeting the perfect mate at just the perfect age, and, eventually, producing adorable grandchildren for us to shower with love. Rarely are these dreams fully realized. How we anticipate and react to our “disappointments” can shape our – their – experiences.

 Indeed, I believe that expectations often paralyze us: they stifle creativity, individuality, and our ability to become real catalysts, and they suppress our growth. Adapting our habits and attitudes and moving beyond our expected roles can lead to innovation and fulfillment. Robert Frost had it right: the road not taken really does make all of the difference. I marvel at how we seem to promote the expected itinerary to our children when our heroes usually traveled far afield.

 As your children choose next year’s academic courses; as they consider whether they will take a “different” path by attending community college, by taking a gap year, by learning a trade, by applying for a job, by enlisting in service; as they contemplate any number of paths that vary from our expectations, we, as parents, need to embrace their initiatives (or at least openly consider them). Our children will make some mistakes and take some wrong turns, but their journeys will be profoundly changed, often for the better, by making them their own. I challenge you to monitor your reactions to such “disappointments” - to adapt to new terrain, to pave a new path, and to allow that new journey to exceed your expectations. Do not be constrained by what is expected or by what has been “proven to work in the past.” 

A Sense of Place

         This past weekend, my husband and I attended The Best of Our State at Pinehurst Resort, a storied weekend that celebrates Our State magazine and, more importantly, North Carolina and draws a sellout crowd – hundreds of returning visitors each year – to enjoy speakers and artists representing various state regions and industries. A newbie to the conference, I was immediately fascinated by the group’s comradery. Folks not only reunite annually at this conference but also warmly welcome newcomers, like me, and we all share the same home: North Carolina.

         I listened to Karen Amspacher share her love of and commitment to Harkers Island, a sparsely-populated hurricane-ravaged coastal community, rich in family history, and immediately realized that my husband and I had perhaps failed to cultivate in our own children or in ourselves her intense tie to her land and to her community. That’s what was present in this weekend, a profound communal feel.

         Community has too often taken a backseat in our lives. We often find ourselves too busy, rushing from activity to activity, to appreciate the beauty in the land and in the people around us.

         As I reflect on this weekend, I have surmised that, although my husband and I did an adequate job exposing our boys to North Carolina culture, especially to our Winston-Salem community and to our favorite eastern North Carolina stomping grounds, Oriental, Arapahoe, New Bern, and Emerald Isle, in retrospect, we could have, we should have, done more.

         Today’s culture is increasingly global and transient. Both our boys have now flown the nest, and, although I am proud to say that they are financially independent, I wish that they felt a stronger tug to our great state. I have not ruled out the possibility that one or both could return home to take up residency in North Carolina, but that possibility seems more remote than I’d like. My oldest son is two-plus years post college graduation and on his second job, and that transition to a second job is the norm, both within his field and his peer group. Change is ever-present in our children’s lives. Instilling a sense of place, a true sense of home within our community, therefore, seems more important, more stabilizing than ever.

         In hindsight, I wish we had been more intentional about exposing our children to the annual events within our community and within North Carolina. Our children are well-traveled, from border-to-border and beyond, but often their North Carolina travel was for sporting events that limited their exposure to a tennis court or a cross-country course, rather than affording them to soak up local haunts and products and to gain a sense of the community.

          I share my misgivings with you, so you will benefit from them. Take time in 2020 to indulge in and appreciate local culture. Find time to share that culture with your children while you can. Do not avoid events for “lack of time.” Planting communal seeds may inure to your benefit in the long-term. And, if you need ideas, pick up a copy of Our State magazine, an award-winning publication second to none.

Warning! ACT Changes Ahead.

My husband and I just finished a minor home renovation, which has made me acutely aware of the value of good customer service: timely service that meets expectations and needs at a fair price and that instills trust. Customer service is a shared relationship. The provider should stand proudly behind its product, but the customer also bears responsibility for clarifying expectations and needs. Let’s consider our relationship with the standardized testing industry.

With only two primary providers, the ACT and the CollegeBoard (SAT), competition in the testing industry is limited, which drives product quality down. In recent years, critics have attacked the ACT and the SAT for printing errors, corruption, security issues, arbitrary essay scores, and inherent unfairness, calling into question the quality of their products and our trust in the industry. These companies bring in hundreds of millions of dollars each year. As customers, we should feel emboldened to seek testing reliability and top-notch service, and, accordingly, a movement is afoot, with widespread demands to abandon the tests as inherently unfair to the poor and with the adoption by colleges of test-optional admission policies. 

For now, though, testing is still a mainstay in the college application process, required to earn admission to most highly selective institutions and to qualify for many tuition reductions and scholarships. Standardized testing is used to compare students within and across borders and to measure, with some consistency, academic potential. 

In the past few years, despite the movement toward test-optional admissions, I have witnessed an increase in the frequency of testing among my local student population. College counselors are generally encouraging retesting: Eking out another point or two can be a worthy investment with high returns. Meanwhile, the scores of economically-disadvantaged students, those who cannot afford frequent retesting or individualized test prep, reflect and perpetuate, at least to some extent, their financial limitations, hence, the growing concern about the tests’ fairness. 

The ACT has responded with three proposed changes to its product:

1.   ACT Section Retesting

Beginning in September 2020, the ACT will allow students to register for and take only the sections they have targeted for improvement, without sitting for the entire test, which contains five sections. Students can thereby avoid the risk inherent in retaking a section where they are already pleased with a posted score and where they would prefer not to show regression. They can also save time and money, although rates have not yet been announced for partial testing.

 2.   ACT Superscoring

Superscoring averages a student’s best section scores (English, math, reading, and science; writing is not included) to achieve a composite superscore (from 1-36), rounded to the nearest whole number. Beginning in September 2020, the ACT will calculate and report this superscore to colleges. Many but not all colleges and students already superscore but without assistance from the ACT.

3.   Faster Results with Online Testing on National Testing Dates  

By registering for online testing on national testing dates in or after September 2020, students will avoid paper and pencil in favor of a computerized version of the test and then receive their scores in just a few days, rather than within the typical few weeks.

While the ACT’s ploy is to build market share, I applaud its pursuit of a compromise that seeks to improve customer service. I anticipate at least some student benefits from these changes. Whether colleges that do not currently superscore will adapt their policies, whether single-section retesting will benefit the economically disadvantaged, and whether these changes will result in more or less testing for our children is yet to be seen, but most can agree that the status quo in standardized testing is far from ideal and in need of revision, and the ACT has responded. 

I urge you to seek to understand the complicated relationship we have with the standardized testing industry and to pursue the best options for your child. Please let me know if I can help.

"Did You Really Read That Book?"

Last weekend, Bookmarks hosted its 15thAnnual Book Festival, the largest book festival in the Carolinas. Bookmarks works tirelessly to secure authors, from near and far and representing a variety of genres, to discuss their craft. As an avid book lover, I get goosebumps just thinking about this event, and I now look forward to the festival as a kickoff to the school year.

I try to stay abreast of the latest book releases, but the volume of great reads available abounds, and I always discover a talented author who is new to me at the festival. I have learned to identify at the book-signing tent which authors have the longest line, some wrapping around the block, each fan waiting for the opportunity to secure an autograph and to gush. I then race to the book sales tent to ensure that I get a copy of that author’s most-read title before it sells out. Those books have never disappointed and are often YA titles, from Sarah Maas, to Jason Reynolds, and, this year, to V.E. Schwab. I didn’t think I liked fantasy or superhero books, but the festival pushes me beyond my usual comfort zone.

While I saw plenty of teens at the festival, on a daily basis I recognize that most of our children do not read, and, perhaps, more disturbingly, they don’t like reading. Any book nerd knows what a travesty reading avoidance can be because of the joy these youngsters are missing. Any teacher knows, though, that a love of reading is essential to the development of our best lifelong learners.

With so many riveting reads available in paper and ebook form and in compelling audio versions, where do we as educators and parents miss the mark? Why do most of our children dread reading?

I attribute this degeneration to the confluence of numerous factors, many of which are borne in English class.

When I was in the eighth grade, Animal Farm was assigned reading. With no background in Russian history (not even in school), this novel, an allegory for the Russian Revolution, was a drudgery. I simply was not mature or learned enough to appreciate Orwell’s intentions. The novel study was more than a waste of time for me; it was a total turnoff to reading. Today’s teachers, some of whom still assign this novel to middle schoolers, regularly engage in this misstep: assigning historical fiction written in obscure language that the children struggle to understand and from a time period about which our students have no knowledge.

The students then, understandably, turn to online resources to help them grasp the novel’s meaning, but teachers and parents send the message that doing so is cheating. While I am not a fan of relying on such resources as a replacement for reading, I am a fan of doing so to support an understanding of the text, especially where the student struggles to keep up with characters or with archaic language and has minimal exposure to the novel’s context.

English teachers often also demand that their students annotate text, noting in the margins each character, literary element, and reference to the book’s theme. To me, this process is more akin to revising a strategic plan than to extracting any pleasure from the novel’s overall impact, particularly for a youngster.

Add a layer of reading quizzes and comprehension tests, followed by a five-page essay analyzing how well the author accurately interpreted this era of history, with which the student knows little, and we have created a recipe that will leave in most teenagers’ mouths a very sour taste.

Contrary to what you may think, I love a strong English teacher, but, collectively, we must rethink how we introduce reading into the curriculum. We need fresh titles. We need to dedicate some classroom time to reading for pleasure, even in high school. In our race to fulfill AP curriculum requirements, we are frequently sacrificing, in every class, not just English, the joys of learning and exploring. 

Visit Bookmarks. Visit our Downtown Forsyth County Public Library, too, because it is amazing, and pick up a book to read today, maybe even to enjoy as a family. As parents of high schoolers, try to rekindle that love of reading that you cultivated in your toddler long ago.

Prioritizing Fitness Over Finish (A Warning About Goal-Setting)

This morning, I read a compelling fictional book on school-related anxieties (The Gifted School), a Wall Street Journal article on how teens should spend their summers, and a New York Times Magazine article about a competitive elite preschool. We cannot escape the abounding focus on student positioning, achievement, and résumé-building. Our constant focus on society’s presumed definition of success (e.g., straight A’s, college admission to that perfect university, a high-paying job) usually fails to embrace weightier developmental skills, skills central to our children’s well-being. Accordingly, as you and your child consider goals for the coming year, I encourage you to be intentional about your child’s general well-being.

Goal-setting is like studying. We assume students and their parents know how to do it without instruction. Accordingly, students typically churn out their goals very quickly and very predictably, for example,

·     Earn straight A’s,

·     Make the varsity basketball team, and

·     Become president of the Key Club.

I am increasingly alarmed by the nature of students’ (and, likely, their parents’) goals because these lofty objectives only establish capstone ambitions and fail to address any integral parts of the process. Our children have limited control over the attainment of any of these achievements. Despite persistence and dedication, they may stumble in their pursuit of these goals because of an extremely demanding teacher, steep competition, a learning difference, or a host of other possible barriers. If processed appropriately, such failures can be wonderful learning moments, but if our children only see their initial goals, above, and then disappointing results, then they do not glean any benefits from goal-setting. Moreover, such goal-setting could escalate stress and anxiety and nurture feelings of worthlessness. 

Goal-setting should not be a “one-and-done” activity. Instead, goals should be chunked into step-by-step processes that define how goals will be achieved and when progress toward goals will be measured. Then, even failure to attain ultimate goals may be deemed successful because of recorded mini-accomplishments. 

Furthermore, because mental, physical, and emotional health are critical to attaining goals and optimal performance, consider setting goals to improve general well-being.

Set a goal for physical fitness. If your child is not participating in a seasonal sport, daily physical activity is a must to ensure consistent classroom performance and to relieve stress. 

Set a nutritional goal. Too much sugar can compromise mood, memory, and attention. A healthy diet will elevate learning.

Set a goal for ensuring consistent sleep. A lack of sleep may diminish recall and certainly impairs focus.

Set a goal to develop an extracurricular activity that is not about résumé-building. If your child does not want to create his or her own herb garden, to learn to play a musical instrument, to trace your family’s ancestry, to train a service dog, to build LEGO masterpieces, or to pursue an activity for the pure joy of it, then give him or her an agreeable assignment or chore, such as planning and preparing a weekly family meal. The importance of this distraction is that it will give your child a sense of pride. A pastime builds work ethic and personal satisfaction, not for a grade, and may lower anxiety; it can also help build a positive self-image.

Set a family goal. Creating strong family relationships can strengthen a student’s support system and improve emotional health.

These goals should, of course, be tailored to the individual student, be defined as precisely as possible, and be measurable. 

Goal-setting without attention to a student’s physical, mental, and emotional health may diminish the importance of health, in general. I encourage you and your family to focus not just on academic goals, but on personal well-being, a necessary foundation to ensure a student’s readiness to learn. 

Learning to Love Learning

At the age of four, our oldest son wanted to take up guitar. We enrolled him in the Suzuki program, and before we knew it, his left hand was flying up and down the frets, and his right hand adeptly fingerpicked classical tunes and, to our delight, pop tunes. He continued to work his way through the Suzuki curriculum, but his interest waned as the years progressed. By the time he reached his junior year of high school, his spark for guitar had evaporated. He had grown tired of the rote demands of classroom learning and weekly guitar practice. Much to my personal, huge disappointment, of which he is fully aware, he discontinued his guitar lessons and allowed his instrument to become a dust collector. 

The high school students I see today reflect his burnout. Their love of learning, presumably once intact, has now faded. Their high school coursework is largely predetermined. They must take the required courses, dictated by educating bureaucrats who have categorized learning into core subjects, such as English, math, science, history, and foreign language. The mere categorization of students’ learning has long ago become stale.

What seems missing in today’s classroom, in my opinion, is that spark and love of learning. Students are disengaged, systematically memorizing historical facts, mundanely performing mathematical operations, and anxiously cramming for assessments. We can blame the teachers who fail to inspire our children, and we should, but, more proactively, we can take ownership for instilling a love of learning, that curiosity, in our children.

Summer is an excellent opportunity to rediscover curiosities and to reignite a love of learning.

When he traded in his guitar, my son turned to another interest: yo-yoing. Initially, his study of yo-yos seemed trivial to me. I could not fathom his turning away from a life-long musical interest to pursue a mere pastime, yo-yoing; however, he truly loved it. He watched hundreds of yo-yo YouTube videos and developed serious skills, performing “off-string” feats that are truly mind-boggling. Most importantly, though, yo-yoing helped him rekindle his love of learning.

Seize these summer weeks and encourage your children to pursue with intense curiosity their own interests, however trivial they may seem. The ramifications of such exploration may later benefit their classroom performance.

Summer and Fall Enrollment 2019

Thank you for your interest in Arbor Road Academy! The following links will allow you to download forms for 2019 enrollment. Please fill out the forms completely and know that I am grateful for your interest. Historically, enrollment fills quickly. Priority is given based on the time and date of receipt of forms, and returning families will receive a 10-day enrollment priority window.

Summer Enrollment 2019

Fall Enrollment 2019

Feeling Blue about College Admissions

As parents, teaching our children morality is one of our most important jobs. When our children are toddlers, we begin to teach them right from wrong. “Be kind; be respectful; share; do not lie; do not cheat; do not steal.” As our children grow older, though, understanding the nuances of what is moral requires careful consideration. Not all situations are clear, and those nuances are often very confusing, even to us as adults. 

Operation Varsity Blues, the college admissions scandal, has left us reeling with questions about what is ethical. While the case unearths actions that boldly cross every conceivable line of fairness and justice, other, deeper, more difficult questions remain.

In college admissions, we have long been aware of front-door and back-door admissions. Front door admissions mean that students visit; fill out an honest application; write a personal essay, or quite a few; send a transcript, test scores, and some recommendations; and await the colleges’ decisions. Back door admissions are earned through substantial, usually very public donations, which result in less rigorous admission standards for applicants within the donor’s family. Because of the recent college admissions scandal, we are now aware that some students have gained entry to universities through a side door, through bribery and deceit. While we may have suspected that sinister behavior exists in the world of college admissions, we are all shocked by the scandal’s scope and magnitude.

The deceptive behavior about which we have read in the news is stunning: students’ falsely posing as recruited athletes; parents’ delivering bribery payments and then writing those payments off as charitable deductions; students’ faking learning disabilities; exam facilitators’ changing SAT and ACT answers; college graduates’ taking the SAT or ACT for students; and Division I coaches’ advocating admission for indisputably unqualified athletes. Imagine the damage to the involved children’s psyches. Consider the widespread ramifications and, specifically, the students from whom opportunity was stolen.

How different, though, is this behavior from the other advantages that currently exist within the system?

Our culture places an overemphasis on college selection. We live in a world of window decals, sweatshirts, and national championships. The anxiety and pressure mounting about where our children may enroll is often palpable. That pressure leads us, as parents, to make decisions that may cross lines of fairness and morality. 

I have specifically asked myself questions about admission enhancement services readily available to the economically advantaged – college counselors, test prep instructors (me), college essay reviewers (me). Am I part of the problem? While I acknowledge the deep division between the have and the have-nots, in our capitalistic society, the benefits of a private college counselor, test prep, and essay review, while perhaps not acceptable, are clearly accepted. These services are usually above board and widely accessed. Most students have an adult read their college essay who, in turn, offers feedback. Many secondary schools, public and private, offer test prep services within the curriculum. 

Other questions plague me: Should legacies earn an edge in admissions? Should athletes, some of whom bring many dollars to their schools, be welcomed without meeting academic admissions standards? 

What I do know is that we must all stand firmly against stealth, bribery, and deceit, obvious transgressions that violate our universal moral code and, in many cases, the law. In a world where lies abound, the clearest boundaries must remain intact.

The complex landscape of college admissions is not fair. I have seen far too many incongruent results to declare that it is; however, the complicated landscape is what we have. It is far from perfect, and, until we can change it, we must cope with the system and guide our children accordingly. We must continue to remind them that personal values and morality always carry more weight than the name of the institution they will attend. Our children need to develop into their best selves, not so they can earn admission to a college, but so they will become happy, wise, and healthy adults who can lead our world into a very uncertain future. We also would do well to embrace alternative avenues, other than a four-year college. Not every student should attend college. Gap years, service, technical schools, community colleges, and artistic pursuits offer worthy avenues to success. 

Taking Risks

I saw Apollo 11 last week at aperture, our local art house cinema. Apollo 11 is a documentary tracing man’s mission to the moon from launch to its lunar landing and then back to Earth. I was four years old when this successful mission took place, so my memories are only of the footage I have seen previously, primarily Neil Armstrong’s initial steps on the moon and his famous words, “That's one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind.” This award-winning film, however, contains never-before-seen footage, and I believe that it is important viewing for you and your children. 

The film documents what my husband claims is “indisputably” the most significant historical event of the twentieth century. For its historical weight alone, it is worthy of your time; however, from an academic coaching standpoint, I deem the film important because it celebrates goal setting and risk taking.

On September 12, 1962, President John F. Kennedy set the goal for our country to put a man on the moon before the end of the decade. The United States was spurred on by competition from the Soviets, but the success of the mission was celebrated by all mankind, because it was indeed an achievement of many, an estimated 400,000 men and women who helped to accomplish the feat.

The lunar mission was fraught with peril. Three men, Buzz Aldrin, Michael Collins, and Neil Armstrong, literally went “where no man has gone before.” They could have run out of air, run out of fuel, or even locked themselves out of the module. They could have mistimed the reconnection with Michael Collins for the return trip to Earth. About a million things could have gone awry, yet the mission was close to seamless. The mission cost nearly two billion dollars in today’s money, so, no question, there was a lot at stake: lives, money, pride, and the future of the space program, to name a few.

The mission, therefore, required unbelievable planning, a consideration of every conceivable miscalculation and problem, and a lot of faith. Even still, the risks were huge.

I am not generally a risk-taker. Ask my children. I have the uncanny ability to identify in seconds all possible disasters that could occur with any of my children’s grand ideas for fun. I recognize, however, that our society has failed to produce enough risk takers, and risk takers become our entrepreneurs, our inventors, our change-makers.

Please watch this film and discuss it with your children, and then encourage your children to step beyond the box, even if it is only to explore a new hobby or to take an unexpected class, and teach them to believe in themselves. The fact that we put a man on the moon within seventy years of the Wright Brothers’ Kitty Hawk flight proves that with strong goal setting, planning, faith, and courage, we can accomplish the incredible.

Who's Your Caddie?

Test prep is beneficial to college-bound students because, at its essence, the SAT and the ACT are often more about test-taking skills than about any other academic skills. Educators and college admission officers acknowledge that the SAT and the ACT unfairly benefit economically-advantaged students specifically because those students have access to better, experienced test prep, which usually yields an increase in their scores. Most students have no idea how to hone their test-taking skills independently.

In sports, the path to success is to determine how best to accomplish the challenge ahead. For example, when a golfer faces a tournament weekend, he studies hole placement; gauges the weather, wind, and course conditions; and sharpens skills. He also consults his coach and his caddie! Why would we think test preparation is any different? Students must develop a plan of attack: to become familiar with testing patterns, to develop strategies for success, to understand the testing conditions, and to gain confidence and an attitude of optimism.

The SAT and the ACT are vital admission checkpoints. Despite the growing list of colleges that self-identify as test optional or test flexible, students can improve their profile significantly by securing competitive standardized testing scores.

Local freezing rain deferred this week’s in-school ACT until March for public-school juniors. Many of these students will now take the SAT on March 9, for which they had registered previously, and turn around to take the in-school ACT just four days later, far from ideal timing. The pacing of these two tests varies drastically. Much like moving from a racing car to a clunky old jalopy, these students will be velocitized by the ACT and find it tricky to slow their pace and to calibrate their attention to the wordier, often more tedious SAT problems. This transition requires scrutiny and planning.

Don’t assume students will be “just fine” on test day and allow them to go into these significant tests “cold.” Don’t assume that handing them a test prep book or directing them to practice on-line will fulfill their needs. Seek out individualized test prep that will help your children optimize their performance.

Achieving Equilibrium

I have dedicated a fair amount of blog space to your children’s hobbies. I prioritize hobbies because I am continually amazed at how many children, or adults, for that matter, can cite no personal hobbies when asked. The common reply I hear is that they enjoy “hanging out with friends,” “binging on Netflix,” or “playing video games.” How did this lack of interest, this lack of engagement, befall our youth? Hobbies and interests make human beings multi-faceted and appealing. We seem to be cultivating a generation of robots, without distinguishing interests, all focused on the singular goal of attaining “success,” however that may be defined.

I also emphasize the importance of hobbies, though, because I believe that they add so much color to my own life. I long to take a break from my daily work and chores, so I can pick up the novel I am reading, play my latest piece of sheet music on the piano, needlepoint my next creation, join friends at the bridge table, or follow a new recipe. Hobbies bring unadulterated joy, so how is it that our youth has largely abandoned the pursuit of hobbies?

In the fall of last year, Tim Wu, a law professor at Columbia, published an op-ed in The New York Times entitled “In Praise of Mediocrity.” He equates our universal lack of hobbies to “a civilization in decline.” He attributes our abandonment of hobbies to our tendency only to find hobbies worthy of undertaking if they can be pursued at the highest level. Somehow, we have communicated to our children that, for a hobby to be worthy, our children must become a state champion or an expert in the field. Collecting stamps is not enough; our children must develop a stamp collection that will merit recognition on a college application. What have we done? 

I believe that our children’s work ethic and classroom performance can be improved if they can counterbalance their hard work with the pursuit of an activity that brings them genuine joy, no matter that their effort renders them only mediocre as a runner, an artist, or a seamstress.

If your children cannot promptly respond with their favorite hobby, help them identify that pursuit, that activity, that enriches their own lives. I believe that our hobbies and interests ultimately yield dividends in the classroom and in the workforce. More importantly, though, they are simply fun, a welcome respite from our daily demands.

Raising Expectations

This past weekend I went to an exercise class entitled Body Works Plus Abs, a class designed to improve overall fitness, muscle tone, and balance through high repetition weightlifting. Although I enjoy the instructor, I really hate the class. It is misery crunching out set after set of lifts. While I am generally proud of myself as I walk out the door and gain the benefit of a few endorphins swimming around inside, after-the-fact I cope with sore muscle groups and a sense of dread about attending the next class. The work ahead seems unending - use it, or lose it, as the saying goes.

I believe that my experience with exercise class is akin to how many of your children feel about homework, especially math homework where routine practice builds cumulative skills. They may dread doing it but feel more competent after completing it, notably when they do so thoroughly, with attention to detail.

As parents, our first tendency may be to sympathize with our children. Parents appreciate the sense of foreboding that comes with homework. Many parents, though, commiserate with their children but rarely direct them to “suck it up.” We may excuse our children from embracing math homework: “I was bad at math, too, so you come by it naturally.” We look the other way when our children bring home A’s in math classes that clearly lack rigor. Moreover, we may encourage our children to enroll in classes with teachers whose expectations are truly minimal but who award the easy A.  

Just like hard work in the gym, though, students cannot gain true growth in a subject matter without sufficient at-home practice, and I am constantly amazed at how little homework some math teachers assign.

I see math teachers who do not assign any regular homework, which I deem completely unacceptable and, frankly, unbelievable.  I see math teachers who rarely assign homework, and for the work that they do send home with the students, they readily award credit for it whenever it is complete, provided the work is submitted before the quarter’s end. I see math teachers who assign homework but too few problems to assure retention of the concepts. Fortunately, I also see math teachers who appreciate that repetition breeds understanding and competence. They assign a healthy, sometimes lengthy, problem set nightly. These math teachers in the final category, I believe, get it right.

Where teachers and often parents miss the mark, though, is in not setting expectations that push children to their capacity. Indeed, I suspect that many readers, right now, are wondering incredulously how their children could possibly handle any more homework than they already have.

In the process, our conservative expectations lull children into laziness. They do not exert effort when attacking math problems that require more than rote skills. They begin to seek the easy out, the “gut” class. We have become so convinced that homework causes anxiety that we have swung the pendulum too far in the other direction, especially for students who imminently face college.

I believe that we should expect more of our children. They are more resilient than we know, and, moreover, they want us to think they can accomplish the unexpected. My message to you this month is to raise the bar, both in math class and in the gym!

Stepping into Politics

We live in a politically-charged world. In our current climate, every decision we make is politicized: what car we drive, what television station we watch, and what book we read. In my lifetime, I cannot recall a more divided nation. As we approach the week ahead, election week, I believe that it is important to connect with one major responsibility we owe our children: Developing independent thinkers.

We have read about the anxiety that riddles our children, whether it originates from social media; from rampant targeted violence; from the challenges to achieve success, as we define it; from our own overprotection; or from another source. The effect of these anxieties and perhaps of the world in which we live is often unveiled in our children’s lack of confidence.

Teenagers learning to find their way are understandably and expectedly lost at times, but I do worry that our children do not always have the confidence to derive or to express their own opinions: What extracurricular club should I join, what should I discuss in my creative essay, or for what classes should I register? Many of our children are paralyzed by these more mundane questions. How will they, one day soon, independently handle the more monumental decisions?

As much as we are surrounded by political thought, I witness very little political discussion. Your children’s teachers and schools are not deeply engaging in political issues, at least from my observations, and your family is likely cautious to raise political issues at parties or even among friends, particularly those friends whose political opinions may differ from your own. After all, we were instructed at a young age to avoid the discussion of religion and politics. The result, though, is further divisiveness, and the one thing I believe most of us can agree upon is that the divisiveness is not healthy, for us or for our children. We need to strive to reach common ground and to create a world of compromise that embraces our many voices.

As the election looms, now is a wonderful time to engage your children in a discussion about the candidates running for election and about local and state government. Encourage questions from your children. Cultivate their curiosity. With the internet at your fingertips, research together the answers to their questions. In short, develop their independent thought, even if it strays, slightly or dramatically, from your own. This week is a pivotal week, a week of discussion and opportunity to instill confidence in our children, to consider other perspectives as openly as possible, and to model for our children that we take pride in our democracy and will take time to vote thoughtfully.